Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She said her name was "party"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
