It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
