oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
