I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
