Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
