love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
