so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize