I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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