So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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