areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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