I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize