dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
