Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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