she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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