woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
