And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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