I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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