Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
