Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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