Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
