you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
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I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
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At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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