i can't believe i had my finger in that
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
