she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
