I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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