just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
