giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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