That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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