Only a mothe r could love this liver
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
