and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
