If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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