Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
