Me too!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
