I seem to have left my pride at pride
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
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I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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