Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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