I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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