shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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