Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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