We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
