She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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