I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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