it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
