Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
home. puking in laundry basket.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
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My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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