Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
