Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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