Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
