If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
well you can't waste a boner
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It's just like the Real World with babies
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
