So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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