remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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