Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
