I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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