Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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