She's JV to your varsity
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
