This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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