Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Pants are for mortals
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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