I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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