I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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