dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
