Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
