I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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