Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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