I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
