Dual....:-)
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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