just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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